by Amie Boyd
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10 June 2019
At least that’s what a lot of people think, or at least a lot of performers think a lot of people think, and lets face it, many performers aren’t the most secure when it comes to real, deep self-esteem and self-worth. So what does go into a typical performance? Let’s work backwards on tonight’s gig. As deserts go out I venture to the glamorous dressing room, also known as the ladies toilet, and don my shoes, then dress and earrings. A quick squirt of perfume, more lip gloss and throat lozenge and we’re ready to go.o I arrive at the venue at 6.50 to cart my gear in and get it set up as quickly as possible so that I’m not disturbing the guests whilst they are enjoying their meal. I would have done this much earlier in the day but unfortunately family had other ideas and after taking my kids with me to set up before I am NEVER doing it again! My gear includes my Yamaha Stage PAS 400i, speaker stands, mic stand, cables, laptop, music stand, bass recorder and most importantly, iPad. Oh, and my dress, shoes, earrings and lipstick. I packed my car up at 4.30, which also involved removing a pushchair, shoes, a scooter and two empty boxes. Due to teaching commitments 5-6.30 I need to have everything ready to go as soon as I kick the last student out. And it involves teaching in full stage makeup. I did a blog years ago (which I will make available again one day!) about changing from a Mummy into a Rock Star, and I would love to make a video of how do my average stage makeup face, but here are the basics: Bare Minerals foundation, concealer, more foundation, mineral veil, blusher and bare minerals ‘warmth’ followed by more veil. Then to eyes. A change to my previous routine due to tiredness and ageing involves white kohl eyeliner on the bottom lids as this really opens up the eyes. Then various powders on the top lids, including shading and making sharp lines with paper, a flick of liquid eyeliner, more powder to blend, mascara, eyebrow pencil and ta da! Some gigs involve glitter and using wet eye shadow but as today doesn’t involve stage lighting and is a more intimate and close up gig I don’t need to go for the full clown look. Lips. Urgh. I’m still working this one out but today I applied lip liner, a red lip stain, patted with tissue and then used a small amount shimmery pink gloss. Without major distractions I can do this in about 20 minutes now. My hair attempt usually starts before makeup as it is my weakest skill - I would love my own hair stylist. No back combing today, but instead tried a sophisticated knotted thing with a lot of hair grips and hair spray. I’d love to tell you more but I’m not entirely sure what I did. But it took about 15 minutes. If it goes wrong it can take a lot longer. Normally getting dressed is the last thing I do after hair and make-up but due to the afore mentioned teaching and not wanting to lug all my gear around in a fancy dress and heels, I need to prepare the ‘base layer’. Due to a recent bought of steroids and two weeks in Texas, my waist line needs a bit of help to fit in my dress so I squeeze everything in to my new hold everything shorts from Shapermint. They’re great - thighs, bum lift, tummy tuck and a waist band up to my bra. Ok, it doesn’t make things smaller but it does make my dress hang smoother and psychologically it makes me feel more confident and attractive, which I need for this ‘role’ on stage. Obviously I would normally then put the dress on but instead it’s smart but comfortable trousers and t-shirt with ankle boots. Some gigs it can take an hour of throwing clothes around in a tantrum because I have NOTHING to wear, or the tights I need are in the wash/been laddered/have a toe hole, other days it can take seconds. Today was mid range as I did spend a lot of time thinking about what I was going to do and how I was going to do it. The afternoon before the gig I spent a good hour or two going through my musical options deciding what I wanted to perform, what they might like to hear, what I need in my back up arsenal and, this is the rare bit but a favourite bit, practising! There’s a particular bit in ‘Cabaret’ that I could never quite get into sync with the backing track so it was nice to spend a bit of time really working on that, and it paid off. I set up an iTunes playlist and fiddle with the order. For me, the opening and closing songs are the important ones. I also make set up a setlist on my iPad. I use an app called ‘Setlists’ and although I don’t put every lyric of every song on it, it is nice to have a few cues for the bits I forget. Yes, I should probably know everything from memory but when you have hundreds of songs you need to be able to perform at the drop of a hat with various different groups, meh. Beside, David Bowie always had a folder of the lyrics on stage with him. Then of course there were the emails and conversations with the organisers to secure the gig, find out what they want, the time I’ve spent building a strong relationship with the client, the time learning the songs in the first place, purchasing and downloading the backing tracks and entering the lyrics into the iPad. Not to mention making sure I have public liability insurance (thank you Musicians Union!), completing my tax returns like any other self employed individual and everything else that the sole trader has to do. After the gig I get to break the gear down and cart it back to the car, drive home, empty the car, remove make-up (which is a skill in itself and will be a future blog) and drink some gin, but it’s all worth it. I love performing and making people smile, and I got two more gigs out of it. I got to introduce some more people to the amazingness of the recorder and perform some songs that I haven’t done for a while which I really enjoy singing. Not bad for forty-five minutes.